I decided to write this post because as a new mom, EVERYONE gave me advice, even when I didn’t want it, on everything and anything, but never gave me any advice on this subject.
I mean, they did. Other mama’s gave me ideas and what they did to soothe their babies, but they didn’t really mention how to handle yourself if your baby DOESN’T stop crying.
So, in this post I’m going to go over a little on how you might feel, how I felt with my first born and then also, of course, different ways to soothe your crying baby.
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We were very fortunate with our first one not being much of a crier, but we also did MANY of these tactics through her baby-hood. Anything to keep the baby happy!
Although there were times that I felt as though everything was lost within me. That I couldn’t do my job as a mother and soothe my baby.
My little one didn’t want to be put down, didn’t want to be rocked, had a clean diaper, was fed….. I tried everything I could find in the books.
This was only one specific time and it went on for hours.
I was helpless and sad. And crying myself at this point.
Although, just remember it won’t last forever!
Please Know: Your baby is going to cry. Sometimes, all night long. Sometimes, it will seem as though you’ve tried everything and NOTHING is helping to soothe.
Please Know: As a parent, there will be a time that you feel like you have failed.
LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, PLEASE KNOW:
You have not failed. You are not alone. Keep calm, Mama. You’re doing amazing.
Repeat that to yourself as much as needed to remind yourself that you are doing the best that you know how and are a great mama!
While uncontrolled crying can and probably will happen, there are several reasons your baby may crying and many ways to possibly help with their discomfort.
Try To Remember..
- As an infant, crying is the only way for the baby to communicate with you. So, as we may become frustrated with the non-stop crying, know that your baby is frustrated as well. Hence, the crying!
- Babies can have different cries, listen and learn, you may be surprised.
Some basic reasons your baby may be crying (non-illness related):
- Dirty Diaper
- Gas (yes, either end)
- Colic (Internal Link)
- Too Hot or Too Cold
HOW TO SOOTHE YOUR CRYING BABY
As you’ll read my parenting blogs, I always note, there is no right or wrong way. You are parenting the best way you know how, doing all that you can and that is all that matters.
There are SO MANY different tactics to try to help soothe your little one.
As your baby grows and develops, you may notice that one tactic that the job but may not work 2 months down the line.
And every baby is different, even twins!
Keep trying different ways to soothe your baby, they might become fond of one specifically and before you know it, they’ll be talking to you in full sentences of what they want!
And us pondering if we really should have ever helped them learn to talk in the first place…
Different Methods To Help Soothe Your Crying Baby:
Pacifier or Breast
I was so scared of my first baby having a pacifier because I heard so much of her becoming attached to it and not wanting to breast feed.
This was NOT the case.
The pacifier did nothing but calm her down, because babies have the natural instinct to suckle. Sometimes I even put my pinky, yes clean, in her mouth and she sucked on that for a bit. It didn’t even have to be a pacifier!
I’ve also known other mothers that their babies took to just suckling on the breast, even when not feeding, just to have that suckle feeling. Some babies prefer the breast over the pacifier.
There can come a moment that the baby has just gotten so frustrated, it seems that you can’t even get the baby to suckle for a second on the pacifier or breast. Which can be frustrating, because we know they like it!
In that instance, try a different tactic!!
Highly recommend having the nurses show you & practice with them before leaving the hospital!
The nurses showed my fiancé and I how they swaddled our newborn when we were in the hospital and it definitely made a difference!
For the first 3 month anyways!
Hey, every moment counts when the baby is not crying!
We noticed our little one didn’t like her arms being wrapped up tight though and decided to try a different “swaddle” tactic.
The sleep sack, that zipped up from the bottom that basically encased her body, but let her move her arms while still being covered. It was genius!
This specific sleep sack has the arms kind of facing upwards. When our little one slept, she slept with her arms out and up by her head. I am not sure if most babies sleep this way, but if so, I have to give it to these sleep sack creators!
The Traditional Swaddle Sack With Arms Up by SwaddleDesigns is exactly what we purchased and fell IN LOVEEEEE with!
We only purchased two, because we would wash one while she wore the other the next two nights. No need to go overboard here!
The Arms Up Swaddle Sack normally runs $21.99 on Amazon with 6 design options to choose from and 130 reviews, marking in at 4 stars!
There are a ton of different swaddle sacks that zip down from the top, Velcro, or have no sleeves. Just have to get to know your baby!
I personally did not think to do this because I was afraid she would get attached to having the sound, like most mothers warned me about getting her too attached on everything.
Yes, other mama’s got in my head about her getting attached to nearly everything! Insert eye roll.
Although, when we did her newborn photos, the photographer was like the baby whisperer!!
She swaddled like it was second nature to her, but she also used white noise. It was very loud to my fiancé and I, but there was not a peep out of that little bundle of joy for two hours while moving her around and taking photos!
So, yes, to say the least, we bought a white noise machine THAT DAY. And we still use it now with our first being almost two!
Pretty sure my fiancé is the one that enjoys the sound more than she does not though!
Feast your eyes on the Dreamegg Sound Machine! haha, I just love that name!
White noise machine with 7 white noise options, 7 fan noise options and 10 natural noise options! That’s the most sound options that I have seen on a white noise machine! Plus, it doubles as a night light. For those, midnight snack sessions!
For the baby, not you.
The Dreamegg runs normally around $35.99 on Amazon with over 1,000 positive reviews, marking in at 4.5 stars!
This might be anything from lullabies to classical music, and could tie in with the white noise machine as well.
We just searched for “nighttime lullabies” on YouTube and played whatever we could find!
We tried this route a couple of times and honestly didn’t seem to relate to our first one very much. Although, now at a year and a half old, I sing a lullaby to her nearly every night while rocking her and she settles right down!
Pressure points. Yes, we have all felt them during a massage once or twice! Hopefully! If not, mama, you need to go read 15 Things A Stressed Mama Needs To Do For Herself & take some notes!
Anyways, a baby massage can help calm a baby if not put them to sleep!
The Baby Center has a great in-depth blog post about how to give a wonderful baby massage!
Lavender Essential Oils In Warm Bath Or Lotions
Lavender is a calming scent that has been used for nearly 3,000 years!
The wonderful scent of lavender is used to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, help with migraines and improve sleep.
Since our little ones can’t talk to us that something might be making them uncomfortable or unhappy, they cry right?
Same thing goes for if they are having anxiety. Yes, believe it or not, our little ones even at such a young age, can have anxiety.
There have been studies that proposed babies could develop anxiety if they had a traumatic birth experience or something as simple as being separated from their parents for too long.
Anyways, lavender has been found to have a calming effect and help improve sleep. Two things we want for our babies right!
Let’s remember that since lavender can be used topically, there is a chance of having an allergic reaction! So be aware when soaking your little one in the bath or rubbing on lotions with scents!
You can also purchase Cliganic Lavender Essential Oil on Amazon for $9.99 with over 1,600 reviews marking in at 4.5 stars! Whoop Whoop!
Relieve Gas By Movement
Our little babies get gas just like anyone else, although being so young, they don’t know how to “push” the gas out like we as adults. Or the toddlers, who at that age find it hilarious!
The gas then is not relieved and can become bothersome to them. So since our little ones also can’t tell us, sometimes it’s just something we have to try and figure out if it is bothering them.
I know there are drops to help relieve the gas, although I personally wanted to try a more natural route (Which I loved and worked great!) , which I’ll get to just after the drops in case you would like to try them yourself first.
Mommy’s Bliss Gas Relief Drops are safe for newborns being that it is free of artificial colors, flavors, gluten, dairy, soy, alcohol and paraben.
Mommy’s Bliss Gas Relief Drops contain simethicone, which helps ease discomfort by decreasing the surface tension of gas bubbles, causing them to combine into larger bubbles in the stomach that can be passed more easily and helping baby pass gas. Simethicone is safe and gentle for infants, and is unique in that it passes through the intestinal tract without being absorbed.
You can find Mommy’s Bliss Gas Relief Drops on Amazon for only $7.99 & with over 400 positive reviews for a 4.5 star rating!
Now for the natural route I took for my first born was literally something I just found on YouTube and it worked wonders!!!
Plus, it was super cute when I did it the first time and got my baby girl to toot, I giggled so hard!!
Jessi Daven in a momma herself that would rather go homeopathic and natural for herself and her baby as much as possible and has over 7K subscribers on YouTube. You can watch many more of her videos as well with parenting and infant issues.
The video is less than the minutes long and you’ll get how to perform it all on your baby before you even get to the end of it.
Make The Room Darker
Yes, something as simple as making the room darker can make a huge difference.
Now, this is not something that we needed to do ourselves for the first baby, but in the days of young me, which I was wild and crazy and now I fear my daughter will be just the same, Lord help me.
Anyways, getting back on track, during my just-out-of-college days, I had blackout curtains and they did JUST what they are named as.
If ever needed for any future babies or as my first one gets older, I will surely be purchasing these! Plus, they come in many super cute colors!
You can find the NICETOWN Blackout Curtains on Amazon for $25.95 and with over 12,000 positive comments for a 4.5 start rating!! That is a pretty good track record right there!
Go For A Walk In The Stroller or A Car Ride
Ever hear of those momma’s going for a car ride at 4 a.m. in the morning? Well, it’s true, it happens.
We took our first one for 2 a.m. strolls in the neighborhood. Thankfully we knew all of our neighbors, so no one thought it was too weird. Plus, if they did even see us, I think we would be wondering why THEY were up!?
We did the stroller walks in the middle of the night for about 3 weeks. My fiancé and I only stopped because with our work schedules, we basically didn’t have any sleep for those 3 weeks straight. We had to find other routes to soothe the little crying beauty queen.
Let someone take over for you.
To some, this might be the hardest thing to do, because as mothers we have that natural instinct to want to take care of our little ones no matter what.
Although, sometimes the crying may be too overwhelming for too long.
When my first born had her episode of crying for 5 hours non-stop, I was lucky to have my fiancé and my mother there. Especially my mother, because it seemed as though I was getting frustrated with even my fiancé with all of the commotion.
So even the 30 minutes that my mother took the baby and held her in her room, made a huge impact on my mindset and sanity. I was able to take a breath, let out some tears and think about other ways to try soothing my baby girl.
Plus, being able to come back to a crying baby with a few moments of deep breaths, I was able to stay a bit more calm and wasn’t so rattled.
Don’t ever be ashamed to ask for help mama! Especially if you are asking another mom to help you out. We understand fully!!!
I didn’t want to rely on any one nor did I want to bother anybody with a crying baby, but I will have you know, now being a momma, I would be HONORED for my mom-friend to call on me when she needs a crying breather!!
So, do not hesitate and call for the hand-off!
MAMA’S NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT EVER SHAKE YOUR BABY
If you EVER find yourself with this feeling, and don’t be ashamed if you do, it can be a natural and happens more often than you would think, please place your baby in their crib or sleeper and take a step out of the room and take a deep breath (and maybe start the coffee pot).
If you have thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, please reach out for help. There is no judgement. Safety is first priority!
The Parent Helpline offers a listening ear for support during difficult times.
Now, that you’ve taken a moment of time to yourself to read this article, go cuddle that beautiful bundle of joy and work your way down the list to help that crying baby!
You’ve Got This Mama!